We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
