Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
