I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
