rhymes with "ouble enetration"
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
