my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
