i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
