There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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