so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
