I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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