Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
