Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
