she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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