As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
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