i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize
