I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
