Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I pour the whiskey from now on
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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