Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
