my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
