left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Best friends brother. Beat that.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Did you pee in the oven last night??
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
