what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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