Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
