Can i not drive my cunt home
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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