Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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