Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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