I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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