it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Randomize
