If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize
