You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Randomize
