think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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