So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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