So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
