my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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