I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
