Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
