You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
