You don't have asthma, your pregnant
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
