I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
