so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
