its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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