We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
