i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Randomize
