I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
i've created a new STD.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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