how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
you didnt know i had herpes?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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