you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
third nipple confirmed
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
