So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
