Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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