So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize