u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I still have a little drunk in my system
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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