I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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