Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
