if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
